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Humorist best known for Three Men in a Boat (1889) and the essays of Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886).
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
I can’t sit still and see another man slaving and working. I want to get up and superintend, and walk round with my hands in my pockets, and tell him what to do.
People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.
I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do.
Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.